OUT OF TOUCH

I’ve been out of the country for a while, so you might say I’m out of touch with all the earth-shaking things that’ve been happening in my absence.

So please, somebody, fill me in on the timeless talents of show biz:

1--Who is Madonna?

2--Does she sing? Does she act? Can she do imitations of people who can do either or both? Or dance?

3--Is Madonna another Cyndi Lauper? Or is Cyndi another Madonna?

4--If you print this, will my life be threatened by Sean Penn? And if so, how does he perform against black belts?

Just sign me, “Hungry for the Real Thing.”

WILLIAM S. KOESTER

Upland