COMMENTARIES ON VIOLENCE : We Live in Comfortable Suburbia and Now We, Too, Are Afraid : Danger has followed us to this island of tranquillity. A firm hand and a helping hand can guide our children.

It’s been several weeks since a senseless tragedy shocked our seaside community. We moved to this peaceful town nearly 20 years ago, seeking a tranquil place to raise a family. Our small town is no longer any different from any other in our nation.

As a parent of three children, I am horrified to find that the acts of violence that were once associated with inner cities are now finding their way into our lives.

Violence is endemic in our culture. Kids watch hour after hour of glorified violence on television. We’ve become a desensitized society, too busy to get involved and too apathetic to care. Ways of expressing anger have changed--fists and words don’t seem to be enough. Violence is the worst kind of crime, and frustrations have mounted because there is no easy cure.

Our three children attend public schools in San Clemente and take immense pride in the fact that they do. I’ve spent the better part of the last 12 years as a parent volunteer in our school community and know firsthand that our schools are determined to provide a safe and sound education for all our youths. Our schools are taking strident measures to send powerful messages to students and their parents.

Every opportunity must be given to encourage students to contribute for the good of our society, but when danger is posed to others, disciplinary measures are being taken. We have to keep moving forward and try to bring more students into the mainstream because they are our future.

It is easy to blame the schools for problems of youth violence, but my personal experience teaches me that the schools are an oasis where our students are learning and growing. Violence is a community problem, and we need community solutions.

I can’t help but feel that because this did happen in San Clemente, we have a chance. Our community has rallied and is working together to make our streets safe once again. As city codes have tightened up, 10 o’clock curfews are once again being enforced. The Sheriff’s Department is working externally, and the rest of the community is rallying to deal with problems internally--with parent education, youth outreach programs and Neighborhood Watches.

We experienced graffiti in our community a few years ago, and still do from time to time. With lots of phone calls, patrolling the streets by law enforcement and residents, and the help of the California Department of Transportation, city of San Clemente and Capistrano Unified School District, we’ve managed to keep it under control.

Our message to these kids has been that we care about our community and that defacing it is not acceptable.

Joining hands to ensure that our streets will once again be safe, and helping youths find productive ways to contribute to our community as a whole, is our message today.

Evidence of gangs is everywhere in our country. Statistics on youth violence are staggering. We cannot allow one more child to be a statistic. The tragedy of Steve Woods’ death will be a constant reminder to the residents of San Clemente that it did happen here.

Raising children today is extremely difficult. It’s up to us, as parents, to reinforce to our children that violence is unacceptable, that our futures will be determined by our attitudes about learning to live together peacefully.

And, it’s up to us, as community members, to acknowledge that our roles cannot be minimized. I’m convinced that tranquillity will return to San Clemente.