Ducks Just Kept Waiting for Detroit’s Ax to Fall

It was just one minute of one period, but what a minute it was, nirvana for Orange County roller blade moms, a nightmare for every puckhead from the cold North.

More than 17,000 suburbanites, surrounding the bleeding members of one of hockey’s original six teams, chanting, “Whoop, there it is.”

But, alas, if it looks like a Duck and skates like a Duck, well . . .

It was fun while it lasted, but it looks like it won’t last much longer after the Mighty Ducks fell to the Detroit Red Wings, 5-3, Tuesday.

Blowing two-goal leads twice.

Outshot, 49-23.

Trailing three games to none in a best-of-seven series.

It was fitting Tuesday that the eventual winning goal early in the third period came on a breakaway where the person closest to Sergei Fedorov was the guy preparing the cones for the impending rush of departing traffic.

In a crowded arena, on a chaotic ice, the Red Wings skated alone.

Luckily for the Ducks, they probably will have to sit through only 60 more minutes of this.

They strangely scare the Red Wings, as evidenced by two periods in which they caused the veteran team to behave like six guys on a backyard puddle.

A 2-0 lead. A 3-1 lead. A 3-3 tie after two.

But it is one thing to scare, and another to threaten.

The winning goal was only a matter of time in the minds of everyone in the arena not wearing a white jersey and skates.

Clearly outmanned and overmatched, the Ducks now threaten only to end this Western Conference semifinal series Thursday at home.

“I’d hate to say tonight was do or die, but . . . “ Paul Kariya said before the game.

But it was.

“Obviously, if we are down three to nothing, it is going to be bleak,” Coach Ron Wilson said Tuesday afternoon.

Ten hours later, he might have wanted to stick an “incredibly” in front of that “bleak.”

Don’t want to hear those stats about teams coming back from 3-0.

Want to see the stats on such comebacks by teams missing their toughest defender.

In a shove-filled match, the Ducks could have used David Karpa’s attitude, not to mention his forearms.

“You miss that antagonistic point of view,” Wilson said.

Want to see the stats on such comebacks by teams missing their top goalie.

Guy Hebert probably would have wilted under all of those shots like Mikhail Shtalenkov. But wouldn’t you have wanted to find out?

“I know Mikhail has played in a lot of big games in Russia, but I can’t imagine he’s been in a lot of games with all these cameras,” Wilson said. “I can’t imagine he’s ever been in anything like this.”

Want to see the stats on such comebacks by teams missing the good legs of their leading scorer.

Yes, Teemu Selanne stuck in a goal from just outside the crease. But with a softball sized knot in his left calf, he didn’t skate as well as he stuck.

And, yes, I want to see the stats on such comebacks by teams that are just plain not as good as the other guys.

Yes, the Ducks took the Red Wings to overtime twice in Detroit before losing.

But the grind of the overtimes has exposed the Ducks’ poor depth, and the precision of the Red Wings has exposed their inexperience.

Essentially, the Red Wings handle the puck better. They skate better. There are more of them.

Those chants of “USA?” coming from the crowd when the five Russian Red Wings were on the ice Tuesday?

That is precisely when somebody named Igor (Larionov) punched in a goal after redirecting a shot from somebody named Vyacheslav (Kozlov), who had taken a pass from somebody named Vladimir (Konstantinov).

That made the score 3-2, starting a rush of Red Wing goals.

That patriotic stuff doesn’t work around these guys.

That unpatriotic stuff also doesn’t work, so maybe Thursday, Duck fans can cease with the hooting and howling during the national anthem?

About the only way the Red Wings could lose Tuesday was to fall on their own sword, which nearly happened, all in the first period.

The game was 10 minutes old when Konstantinov tripped Richard Park and drew a penalty that started their problems.

Then there was goalie Mike Vernon’s dumb high-stick penalty. And his dumber misconduct penalty when he trashed referee Bill McCreary. Sorry, Mike, not everything can be hidden from behind that mask.

There was Nicklas Lidstrom’s attempt to remove Selanne’s head with the end of his stick. Either that, or give him an early shave.

Finally, there was Detroit Coach Scotty Bowman moving his hands in a wave-like motion. This indicated he felt Selanne was taking a fall, faking it.

Turns out, it was the Red Wings who were faking it.

They aren’t that tough. But they are that good.