Must-See TV Never Saw This

A look at college sports in the region during the past school year, as seen by Hollywood . . .

“ER”-- Dr. Greene is baffled when the football coach at Cal State Northridge covers up the shooting of one of his players, saying the young man was sidelined by an appendectomy. Guest starring former Matador Coach Dave Baldwin and running back Shayne Blakey.

“Beach Blanket Bingo”-- Wild and crazy guys from the Cal Lutheran football team open training camp in the sand and surf at Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado. Based on a concept by Kingsmen Coach Scott Squires, portrayed here by Don Rickles. Soundtrack featuring quarterback Zack Hernandez available on CD.

“Lorenzo’s Oil”-- First-year Pepperdine men’s basketball Coach Lorenzo Romar realizes quickly that his team is doomed and tries to concoct a magic potion to no avail. Painful to watch at times. Parental discretion advised.

“Grace Under Fire”-- Virgil Watson, ousted as coach of the Ventura men’s basketball team, remains a class act in a difficult and trying time.

“Coming to America”-- Swedes Sigurdur Josuason and Mihaly Rapcsak portray themselves in this hilarious flick about two football players who spend their savings to travel to Glendale and play for the Vaqueros, only to show up in Los Angeles before their visas become valid. They are deported at their expense but, undaunted, return to Glendale and make the team. Masterfully directed by Ingmar Bergman.

“Apocalypse Now”-- Gruesome account of Northridge men’s coaches waking up to the smell of the administration dumping napalm all over their programs. The perennially successful soccer and swimming teams take the big hits while others run for cover, hoping to see another day.

“Welcome Back, Kotter”-- Remake of the 1970s sitcom has a new group of “sweathogs” attending Northridge after the school lowers academic standards for student athletes. John Travolta makes a cameo as a grown-up Vinnie Barbarino, who has become a counselor on campus. Shot in Dolby Sound inside The Matadome.

“Marathon Man”-- Same title as the Dustin Hoffman thriller but with a different twist: Oxnard left-hander Pat Colborn throws more than 200 pitches over 15 innings in a game and immediately hires someone to brush his hair for the next six months. Recommended viewing for orthopedic surgeons.

“Splash!”-- A humorous look at Pierce swimming co-coaches Fred Shaw and Mike Garibaldi, who are flabbergasted when Japanese diver Motoki Wakabayashi, who came out of nowhere to ask for a tryout, turns out to be highly skilled on the springboard and nearly wins the junior college state championship after going undefeated in dual meets. Great aerial shots from the Fuji blimp.

“The Longest Yard”-- A group of well-intentioned football fans launch a drive to resurrect the sport at Canyons but face stiff financial challenges, prompting Las Vegas bookmakers to post longer odds on the project than on Susan Lucci ever winning a Daytime Emmy.