Where to Assuage Your Grave Concerns About Stars

Iwould never stoop so low as to purchase a guide to celebrity grave sites.

That’s for tourists.

But then someone put a celebrity grave guide on the Web.

That’s entrapment.

Welcome to Find A Grave.com, a site that is about as resistible as chocolate, TV broadcasts of freeway pursuits, synchronized swimming and other guilty pleasures. Click on over to https://www.orci.com/personal/jim to find the final resting spots of the famous and infamous, plus pictures of many of their gravestones.

The “Jim” in the Web address has a last name of Tipton, but that’s about all you get to know about the creator of this site. His home page, which you access by clicking on his name, features a picture of him almost completely obscured by cold weather clothing. The rest of his page is taken up with literary quotes, such as this one from Camus: “Given that you’ve got to die, it obviously doesn’t matter exactly how or when.”

Oh that Jim, such a party guy.

Clicking back to Find A Grave.com, you are given the choice of accessing celebrities sorted by name, claim to fame or location. That location is most often a cemetery, but there are a few residential address listed for the final resting spots, including those of writer Edgar Rice Burroughs in Tarzana and canine screen hero Rin Tin Tin in L.A.

You find 46 locations for California alone, and of course, some have many more celebrities than others. Only two are listed for the Ascension Cemetery in Lake Forest. One is Frances Bavier, who played Andy Griffith’s Aunt Bee on “The Andy Griffith Show.” The other is a woman who became world famous only upon her death--Nicole Brown Simpson.

There are only two listed for Eden Memorial Park in the San Fernando Valley. They were performers who approached comedy in very different ways--Groucho Marx and Lenny Bruce.

In contrast, there are 54 listings under Forest Lawn in Glendale and 45 at Holy Cross Cemetery in Culver City.

The photographs, which Tipton culled from several sources, are the most fascinating feature of the site. I was especially interested to see how closely the epitaphs fit the public personas of the dearly departed.

The grave site of legendary showman Al Jolson, who was never known for being shy, includes a statue of him, a column-supported building and a waterfall. Liberace’s is not that ornate, but it includes his trademark signature on a large tombstone, plus an outline of a baby grand piano and candelabra.

Lorne Greene’s epitaph on a modest stone describes him as “The World’s Best Loved Father” for his role in the TV series “Bonanza.” George Burns and Gracie Allen are described as “Together Again,” and Bette Davis’ stone simply says, “She Did It The Hard Way.”

Perhaps the most touching epitaph is that of F. Scott Fitzgerald and his wife, Zelda. It’s the last line of “The Great Gatsby”: “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

Other graves are against type. Busby Berkeley, who created hugely flamboyant musical numbers for Depression-era movies, is described only as “2nd Lt. U.S. Army.” The wacky Three Stooges all have modest stones that record only their names and dates. Errol Flynn, who led a legendary wild life, was laid to rest with a stone that simply says, “In memory of our father from his loving children.”

My very favorite is the grave of the great voice actor Mel Blanc, whose repertoire included the classic Warner Bros. cartoon characters. His stone features the same message with which he ended those cartoons, “That’s All, Folks!”

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