Political Pronouncements -- for Better or Verse

It has been reported that a dissent by a justice of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court was delivered in rhyme, eliciting a rebuke from two colleagues.

In an interview, Justice J. Michael Eakin, who wrote the dissent, declined to talk about the case other than to remark that “you have an obligation as a judge to be right, but you have no obligation to be dull.” The case turned on whether a lie about an engagement ring should void a prenuptial agreement. In his dissent, Eakin wrote:

A groom must expect matrimonial

pandemonium

When his spouse finds he’s given her a cubic

zirconium.

Given their history and Pygmalion relation

I find her reliance was with justification.

What if everyone adopted this manner? Wouldn’t the world be a better place?

Hans Blix’s report to the United Nations

I’ve tried to use all of my cranium

searching for Saddam’s uranium.

If I find it’s a zero,

will I still be a hero,

if Baghdad is blown clear to Spainium?

Jimmy Carter’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech

I hereby accept this long-overdue prize;

a nod to my penchant for fair

compromise.

My esteem here in Europe is nearly

unbounded

and harsh words at home both shrill and

unfounded;

since but for a certain hostage crisis,

my opinion would count more than Condi

Rice’s.

Lott, downsized

There once was a senator, Chester Trent

Lott,

who cornered himself in a perilous spot.

No matter how much he expressed his

contrition,

sharp questions cascaded without

intermission,

and each time he tried to deflect

inquisition,

the loose ends behaved like a Gordian

knot.

The lesson that lingered, that would not

dispel,

was that due to his toast he became toast as

well.

Henry Kissinger’s letter to George Bush declining a 9/11 commission post

Thank you for my recent selection,

one no one sensible could oppose;

but consider this my polite rejection

for reasons that I can’t disclose.

Al Gore’s announcement

This statement is simple -- no wouldas, no

shouldas.

Perhaps I’ll be haunted by memories of

couldas --

but among those running in two thousand

four

won’t be the peripatetic Al Gore.