He Warmed to the Task, but Only Figuratively

Marc Turndorf of Los Angeles paid $5,601 in an Internet charity auction for the chance to play with the minor league St. Paul (Minn.) Saints. That’s more than the average Northern League player makes in a season.

But the 35-year-old video-game producer said it was worth every penny, “and then some. It was just a wonderful experience, and everyone was so nice.”

Although Turndorf failed to get a hit in two exhibition games, he made a running catch in left field against a Japanese all-star team Saturday and he pinch-ran against the Sioux Falls (S.D.) Canaries last Friday on a chilly night in Minnesota.

As Turndorf stood at second, the stadium announcer joked: “He’s from California, and he’s wearing eight layers of long johns.”

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Trivia time: Who holds the record for free throws made in an NBA playoff game?

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Backside story: After Sammy Sosa of the Chicago Cubs recently hurt his back sneezing, Thomas Boswell of the Washington Post was reminded of other bizarre baseball injuries:

“Wade Boggs missed a week when he lost his balance putting on his cowboy boots and fell into a couch.... Lefty Gomez, while knocking dirt from his spikes, smashed his ankle instead and was carried off the field.... John Smoltz scalded his chest while ironing a shirt -- that he was wearing.

“However, of all the game’s self-inflicted injuries, the prize may go to Clarence “Climax” Blethen. A 30-year-old Red Sox rookie, Blethen thought he looked meaner if he took out his false teeth when he pitched and kept them in his hip pocket. Yes, he forgot to put them back in his mouth. So, on Sept. 21, 1923, while sliding into second base, Blethen bit himself in the butt.”

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Fine dining: David Letterman, on a New York hotel restaurant’s selling a $1,000 omelet: “Normally an omelet is like $4, $5, something like that, and I’m thinking, if I want to spend $1,000 on a meal, I’ll go to Yankee Stadium.”

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Cold case files: Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on St. Louis Blues center Mike Danton’s being implicated in a murder-for-hire plot: “In the NHL, they call that attempted icing.”

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Lion king: Elliott Harris of the Chicago Sun-Times, on Penn State’s signing football Coach Joe Paterno, 77, to a four-year contract: “It should help in recruiting players looking for a great coach, or a great-grandfather figure.”

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Magic number: Former NBA coach Chuck Daly told the New Orleans Times-Picayune: “I said in a book many, many years ago that every player wants 48 minutes, wants to shoot the ball 48 times and make $48 million.

“The only thing that’s changed is the money.”

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Trivia answer: Bob Cousy of the Boston Celtics made 30 of 32 free throws in a four-overtime game against the Syracuse Nationals in 1953.

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And finally: Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, on plans to have Jessica Simpson sing the national anthem at this year’s Indianapolis 500: “At least we won’t have to worry about the [exhaust] fumes killing any of her brain cells.”