Late night politics: A crazy week in review

David Letterman, on ‘The Late Show with David Letterman,’ Oct. 17

“McCain unveiled his new personality. He’s got a new personality. The new personality is ‘fighting underdog.’ And if that doesn’t work, the next one is going to be ‘tyrannical sea captain.’ … And if that doesn’t work, ‘fun-loving goucho,’ and if that doesn’t work, ‘expatriot saloon owner.’”  (Evan Agostini / Associated Press)

Bill Maher, on ‘Real Time with Bill Maher,’ Oct. 17

“Today we found out, because McCain is so good at vetting, as we found out with Sarah Palin, that Joe the plumber, turns out, really isn’t a licensed plumber, he’s in trouble for not paying the taxes that he does owe, he isn’t really close to buying any sort of plumbing company, and his name isn’t Joe. Or, as the McCain campaign explained it, ‘Who is Barack Obama?’”  (Teresa Barbieri / Getty Images)

Stephen Colbert, on ‘ The Colbert Report,’ Oct. 21

“ACORN has conducted a huge voter registration effort, and not all the registrations are valid. Now, I have a lot of problems with ACORN. First, they should have picked a more ominous name, like KAOS or SPECTRE, instead of squirrel food. Something really scary. They are the biggest nut-based threat to America since Mr. Peanut tried to assassinate the GOP elephant to impress the Morton Salt girl.”  (Reed Saxon / Associated Press)

Jon Stewart, on ‘ The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,’ Oct. 22

“Sarah is not the only Palin who got an upgrade. Almost $5,000 was spent on clothing for her husband, Todd, and more on the Palin children. Now, that’s just one scandal. Palin has also charged the Alaska state government for over $21,000 of airfare for her daughters and $700 hotel rooms and went back and amended the expense reports to justify the payments, not to mention $17,000 in per diems she was paid to live in her own home. My God! They’re a family of grifters!”  (Evan Agostini / Associated Press)

Jimmy Kimmel, on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live!’, Oct. 21

“Barack Obama is taking time off from campaigning to visit his sick grandmother in Hawaii. Normally, it would be a bad idea to take time off two weeks before the presidential election, but at this point, Obama is far enough ahead that the only thing really that can stop his campaign is if he finds a mysterious bad luck Tiki doll on the beach.”   (Dan Steinberg / Associated Press)

Craig Ferguson, on ‘The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,’ Oct. 21

“Remember John Kerry? He ran for president and didn’t do that well. He’s being criticized for telling a joke about John McCain wearing adult diapers. How dare you, sir! That’s my job! Knock it off, Kerry! I’ll tell the McCain diaper jokes. You stick with losing elections to the least popular president ever in the history of America.”  (Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images)

Jay Leno, on ‘ The Tonight Show with Jay Leno,’ Oct. 17

“The Charleston Daily Mail endorsed McCain, saying since he’ll only be a one-term president, he can do the right things to make tough decisions. When they told McCain they were only giving him four years, he said, ‘that’s great, my doctor only gave me two!’”  (Dan Steinberg / Associated Press)